Prestige's Pressures

I was intending to write an entry tonight--and this wasn't it. I did reach a realization while reading, however. Follow this neuron connection:

--Began reading "Art on My Mind: visual politics" by bell hooks. She had written a passage about the power of having art around her which she valued--art which got her through hard times.

--There's some neat, abstract art in my place but it's mostly generic. I need new art to surround me in my new life. I wonder whether campus apartments look very different from university to unversity in DC.

--Hm. I really should begin law school life-planning, particularly comparing costs between GW and American. Even for law school, GW is probably worth my first born.

--Subconscious: GW is, of course, more expensive because it is the better school. Reminds me of the conversation I had with Carolyn last night. A disadvantage of existing among overachievers is that there's so much pressure to do the socially-appropriate thing--like attend the most reputable law school.

--I haven't even allowed myself to fully celebrate my acceptance into law school because I'm embarrassed that I was only accepted into my "safety school." In my mind, American was a temporary placeholder until GW changed its mind. Nonsense.

--Change course. Within the last week, I need to at least entertain the idea of attending American, and better yet, be proud of my accomplishment. Big deal. Kudos. American it is--and if GW makes an offer, I have to re-consider.

Record stops.

--Choice. I am not empowered by attending the most prestigious school. I'm empowered by having a choice at all.

R.

On Jeremiah Wright

From my colleague, Larry Yates, a long-time activist (and reparations advocate). Perhaps the coolest white guy I know.

"The United States of America was established as a white society, founded upon the genocide of another race and then the enslavement of yet another...America's original sin [is] the legacy of white racism."

A quote from Rev. Jeremiah Wright? Nope. Rev. Jim Wallis, best-selling author and certified white guy, wrote those words.

How about "we lament and repudiate historic acts of evil such as slavery from which we continue to reap a bitter harvest, and we recognize that the racism which yet plagues our culture today is inextricably tied to the past." Surely that's that radical Rev. Wright. No, it's the 1995 Resolution on Racial Reconciliation -- from the Southern Baptist Convention, the bulwark of white conservatism.

Many mainstream religious leaders, perhaps most, agree with the thrust of Rev. Wright's statements about race and injustice. As for the hectoring tone, and sentiments like "God damn America," those would be business as usual for thousands of traditional preachers, most of them white. Today and every day, somewhere on the AM dial, you can hear that America is damned unless we repent from this or that loathsome practice.

In other words, Rev. Jeremiah Wright is not particularly notable. His opinions and his style are not unusual, either in the African-American community or for milions of other Americans. (Compare to Pat Robertson on cable presenting bizarre conspiracy theories while pretending to be Walter Cronkite. Now that is truly wierd. Father Coughlin as Regis Philbin?)

So why is Reverend Wright suddenly such a lightning rod, and such a burden on his friend Barack Obama?

The answer lies in who runs and staffs U.S. corporate media. The corporate media sector knows zilch about religious beliefs and diversity in this nation. For two decades, they allowed right-wing political operatives to define Christianity for them. (And chicken hawks to explain war to them, and business-funded "think tanks" to explain how to have a prosperous nation. Hmm, see a pattern?)

And they know little outside their white professional world, so no African-American is safe from being assigned the role of exotic, as soon as he or she does something they wouldn't do, no matter how predictable or common it may be. ("Look! He's expressing strong emotion at a funeral!" "Look! She's applying a product I never heard of to her hair!" "Look! They know all the words to this strange song called Lift Every Voice and Sing!")

What's the real story on Reverend Wright? That there is no story. And that the corporate media should look in the mirror for the real story.

'Cause We All Are Made of Stars

You may recall a book I recently read called, Energy Systems, to which I referred in my first post about the world's energy-based belief-systems. In it the authors captured my attention by offering introductory remarks about Chinese Astrology.

My father always enjoyed reading me and my brother our daily Washington Post horoscopes and I indulge in my daily e-mail tarot card from Astrology.com. But I never entered the realm of serious Eastern astrological study. So I picked up a book on Chinese Astrology and in two hours learned more about the tradition and my very own character in the stars. Let me break it down:

Chinese astrology is much more rooted in culture than what we associate here with Western astrology in the US. The fundamental belief is that our birth month, day and time reveal information about our life circumstances, personality and family because it is linked to our cosmic reality. We must remember that although certain features about who we are remain fixed, our fate is not.

The Lunar calendar includes twelve moons averaging on 29 1/2 days with some "small" and "large" months totaling 354 days (an extra month is added to compare to Western calendars).

Our birth reveals our Animals, Animal Types, Heavenly Stems (10), Earthly Branches(12), Element, Color, Direction, Symbol & 3 Lives Horoscopes (past/present/future). This calendar operates on a 60 yr. cycle with a different God showcased each year; there are certain instructions to determine your lunar month, day, and time.

According to the Chinese calendar, I am represented by the Ox.

The Ox is quiet, steady, committed, stubborn and hot-headed when challenged. I'm not driven by financial gain, truthful/sincere, patient, and sometimes, have a dark cloud overhead when worried about the world.

I thrive on strong love, yet easily hurt. Although I am not driven by romance, I'm inclined to accept invitations, change my appearance, and be adventurous. I am truthful, gentle and a tease. I approach new interests without being threatened.

Pay attention to detail, work seriously, and think best when not forced into the public eye. Skilled organizer and logical thinker. Prefer firm foundations, fixed frameworks while being well-informed. Good careers for me are farming, estate management, medicine, religion, philosopher, teacher, chef or policewoman.

Element: Earth (attracted to metal and weary of wood).
Color: Yellow (progress, achievement and fame).
Symbol: Yin/Yang (Ox is equally balanced).
Direction: North-north-east.

Specifically, my lunar month (3), Heavenly Stem (Yi), and Earthly Branch (Ch'ou) indicate that I am the Ox in the Sea: 1) Excited by new discoveries 2) Open to innovative projects 3) Steady interest in the world and a popular companion 4) Innate charm and dependability.

My Chinese hour of birth (1:14am or 1 - 3am) reveals that might I need to leave home to pursue my interests. Although circumstances conspire against me, my fortune will improve as years pass.

My Chinese day of birth (14) says that I use my intelligence well but I find it difficult to accept advice. It's hard to change my mind and for this reason sometimes I miss out. I'm a good initiator and suited to be an administrator, academic or designer.

My Lunar Month (3) reiterates that I don't like advice, though I have the perserverence to see things through--I have a strong moral code and try to establish truth. My hard work is not always recognized, but others soon realize my contributions.

3 Lives Horoscope:
Ox Bone - Learn from positive & negative experiences ; gentle and tolerant most of the time but when I object to something I am a stubborn and determined opponent.

Noble God - Yang Jen. Independent and determined.

Nine Stars - T'ai yang. This is a lucky year for me. Previous plans will come to fruition. I acquire new property or goods. New birth in the family.

Yearly God - Spirit. Consider legal affairs carefully and check details of projects. Expect arguments or misunderstands, beware of sudden judgments.

12 Creatures - Easy-going, popular friend; maintain several influential contacts; lucky streak that gets me out of difficulties.

Career Stars - Butcher. Practical skills, planning, common sense and dexterity.

I'm a believer.

See ya,
R.
People, we come together...

Thou Shall Not Fear the Bible

It's remarkable to me how many books I've referenced in this new blog. For years, I categorically renounced all fiction. These days, I'm not a prolific reader, but I'm darn close to it (of fiction and non-fiction). I have a healthy reading apetitite--about three to five books a month depending on how busy I find myself. Maybe I'm getting all of my reading in before law school. (I was admitted to American this week, which is a good initial step toward my plans to attend law school--getting into one!)

Alas, I finished The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible by A.J. Jacobs a few moments ago. I had learned about the book through a NPR "Fresh Air" interview. After some digging, I was able to listen to a Bryant Park interview, just to hear his responses now that I've read it. A. J. doesn't reveal anything new in his interviews, but in my opinion is pretty modest about what he did, how he did it, and how well he was able to write about his experience.

Living Biblically could probably be the subject of a many blogs, though, I simply want to touch on a few personal highlights. First, it's laugh out loud funny. Jacobs fluctuates from subtle sarcasm to crude puns. Plenty of zingy analogies and self-conscience passages that remind you either of your own or life's general absurdities. It's his self-reflection that's hilarious, and he avoids, for the most part, quips about unusual Biblical practices or the Bible itself. A year is a long-time to be assuming a religious alter-ego, and I found lots to be amused by.

Anchoring all of his humor, however, is the context of his spiritual quest. Jacobs admits that he begins as a hopelessly secular, agnostic Jew, and remains honest throughout his experience. Does following the over 700 proscriptions of the Bible change a man? Absolutely. Does he "find religion"? I probably shouldn't answer this, but I can say that his concession is miredly complicated, like many of the lessons he shares in the book.

The heart of the book, and perhaps, this entry though, is that he obviously grows as a person from Biblical teachings. I was a mere reader--a passive player--in his Old and New Testament pursuit, yet I learned more about the Bible and its nuances in this book than I ever have. I've intentionally put myself in situations to learn about the Bible and didn't glean as much. And, among the teachings, there seems much more of which I agree or resonated, than that I disagreed or loathed.

Some liberal Christians or Red Letter Christians, refer Jesus Christ as at least a great moral teacher. In a similar vein, some liberal Jews offer the same idea about God, to which I can empatheize. I am obviously not Christian, Jewish, Muslim or otherwise belong to the Abrahamic tradition, yet there's tremendous wisdom that can be found in many holy books, especially the Torah. I'm inclined to see these teachings from a political lens, but even outside of important issues like poverty, capital punishment, and gay rights, I get it. The Old Testament addresses not only the life experience but the quality of our lives, too. I feel deeply informed.

I know it's tricky to seemingly boast about the "moral" teachings of the Bible, as if these teachings are not attached to a faith, or ascertained as Truth for others. But I believe it's the best that I can do from the outside looking into most popular faiths. I'm trying to reach beyond tolerance and acknowledge an appreciation for the values that we do share. I do believe in the Common Good and a Beloved Community, so as our society struggles with vital questions about how we are going to relate to others in the 21st century, I want to at least broaden my knowledge, and deepen my worldview. That is what this bestseller did for me and the universe, which is great. If I were to ever convert, I can begin to shift my thinking, and thank G-d for vicariously revealing herself just a little more to all of us. (And inspire me to do the work for myself.)

See ya,
R.

Intimacy Dance

It's 6:37am. I was thrusted awake by a dream. I rarely remember my dreams.

"It's in the blood. I met my love before I was born." - Love Like Winter, A Fire Inside.

AFI's Love Like Winter played throughout, a melodic, rock song with an emotional hook. It often reminds me of change, such as themetic from fall to winter. Most attractive about the track is it's rhythm -- a split half-single clapping beat paired with bass. Boom - pause - boom - pause - boom-boom-boom.

No room, no dance floor, no walls. Just an open, clear space. I see myself dancing. I am stepping forward and backward, fully turning, then clapping above my head, and then pressing my elbows inward to complete an inward clap. Wide smile despite the blaring chorus, "love like winter..."

I move in between partners, every person in my life whom I consider close. The dance slightly changes from person to person, yet the form remains the same. As if we are in a joyful trance, we dance, smile, concentrate, clap, and move-on.

I call this ritual the Intimacy Dance. When I regained consciousness, I understood what this meant. Since August after an unexpected and devastating breakup, I struggled with the possibility of facing post-grad life, well, single. I had never faced a major life transition for the past four years on my own. I thought to myself, "This is awful." And alas, I finally have found the Intimacy Dance.

Around the New Year, I made the intellectual connection. Girlfriends always served as surrogates for closeness and stability that was inconsistent in my life. I had to get over it. There were so many people who cared a great deal for me, including my family, which was more reliable and affirming than they ever been. Most importantly, I was learning to love myself in a geniune way. I turned my thinking: I'm not by myself, I'm simply not dating. Then, I realized that I had to do the work to actually be comfortable with my new state of being.

This dream was a symbol of a breakthrough, representing my relationships and the roles they play in my life at any given time. During a time of flux, I am intimate with a healthy number of people, each in particular way, that brings me happiness and peace. No partner needed.

Hm. I like this. And I like myself better this way. No longer dependent on another person to fill a void that I didn't even realize I had. Because eventually, if I come upon a partner, I'll know how happiness through others without her--from which I can find yet more happiness with her.

See ya,
R.

Defining Your Craft

Sociologist, Richard Sennett, discussed his recent book, The Craftsman on the "Diane Rehm Show." He explained how Americans under-value craftsmanship, and instead, have substituted skill-acquirement over skill-development. That is, much of our work requires us to complete a task, not master a skill-set over-time so that we can mentor others in the future. A true testament to our rapidly-moving culture.

Funny to consider since my official job title is none other than an "Apprentice Organizer." My organization believes that organizers, like carpenters or journalists, gains knowledge and skills through a certain level of experience. If I continued, eventually I'd become an Experienced Organizer or a Master Organizer. Treating our work as a trade rather than a career is a sustaining outlook; it avoids the corporate professionalization critique, from which many non-profits suffer. (Read: The Revolution Will Not Be Funded.)

I realized, however, as I intend to attend law school in the fall that I am abandoning one trade for another. Despite my "successful" trajectory, I haven't mastered a craft, though, I've learned many. For eight years, I was an Olympic-level soccer player; these past five years, I have become a seasoned political advocate; for three years during college, I was preparing to become a scholar (sociologist, no less); and over the last couple of years, I flirted with journalism. Twenty-two years and I possess a lot of skills, some transferrable (being able to "write," for example), yet I have not settled on a professional craft. Considering that I may have eighty more years ahead of me there's probably worse news. Still, it's got me scratching my head.

The discussion struck a cord with me since like many people I closely align my identity with my work (I use this term loosely). Is my work less significant if I have not continued the same work over a long period of time? Is it even desirable to have a single craft or is it more fulfilling/purposeful/productive to have several, complimentary crafts? Does craftmanship allow a person to realize his or her physical, intellectual, and spiritual selves under one banner?

Thoughts to mull over as I plan for law school, and continue organizing for six months. At a time when I am transitioning into an independent adulthood, and exploring parts of myself, I'm intrigued by this notion that a single activity or type of work can so definitive.

See ya,
R.

A Meta-Minute: Moment's Reflection

Most days, I have found myself having at least one reflective pause. Sometimes, I reflect on a political point, other times it's an intellectual issue. On occasion I'm lucky to have a sort of personal breakthrough. I notice myself taking just a little bit of time during the day to untangle problems, simple or seemingly complex, an intentional pulling apart for clarity. I feel as if I benefit from the meta-moments that I enjoy in an effort to see things simply. These breaks supplement deeper, meditative reflection I try practice each week. Why not share?

I've been miserable about maintaining journals, or even previous livejournal blogs. I probably prefer to keep the super-personal thoughts in here (tapping head), and divulge the intellectual stuff at will. Forming communities are important, though, and I should, at least, try to contribute to a virtual one.

Brief one. I finished an interesting book called Real Energy: Systems, Spirits, and Substances to Heal, Change and Grow by Phaedra and Issac Bonewits. The Bonewists are well-known magicians, which struck me as unusual since I naively never made the magic-energy connection before. I'd always reserved energy-pluralist worldviews for Eastern spirituality. Nonetheless, I learned a great deal from Western New Age beliefs to Chinese Astrology.

I was impressed by the breadth of information their overview entailed. I've been searching to learn more about existing energy-related philosophies to see if any fit with my own beliefs. My newest problem? (Problem is a neutral description for me.) There are so many "energy systems" out there, of which I've only begun to scratch the surface. Not to worry, I suppose. Opening myself to them, and discovering the correct pairing, or possibly, correct collection is the task at hand. It simply wasn't the one I expected.

I highly recommend any person to intentionally build their spiritual worldview. Even if a person belongs to a major world religion or a religious community. Re-discovering (and experiencing) your own theology or tradition is essential to consistent livelihood. It's been a joy for this introvert.

See ya, R.