Poetics of the Soul

"Unlike the visionary folk artists who inspire her, Saar does not see the soul as in need of spiritual purification. For her soul is a site for excavation--holding archeological stores of emotional meaning to be examined without judgement...Value is found in the nature of searching. " - bell hooks,Chapter 1: Poetics of the Soul, Art on My Mind: Visual Politics.

"Searching" has been a thematic part of my life since May. And today, I made yet more progress through an exceptionally in-depth tarot reading. An excavation site without judgment.

T and I researched a few options and found a spiritual guide in DuPont Circle to visit today. I passed by palm readings for tarot but as the reading unfolded, it became so complex that psychic and introductory chakra readings became necessary supplements.

Clearly, I am undergoing a lot of psychic changes :)

Before I could sit down, my advisor told me that I was a "very old soul" with at least two past lives. She proceeded to ask me my age in this life: 22.

Next, she immediately detected that I harbored "stagnant energy" -- restless feelings for the past two years. So far, so good.

Of what she shared in our twenty-five minute session, three catergories of insight emerged: knowledge about my personal life that I cannot share on a blog, knowledge about my future, and knowledge about my stagnation.

Future:
-I'll live into my late 80's, a healthy and fulfilling life.
-I'll become incredibly successful, as in "life-altering" successful.
-I'll become a published writer, self-employed, and be connected to foundations, philantrophy.
-I'll have material wealth by age 30.
-She was able to describe my life partner (I'll omit details here :)
-2008 is a positive year for me marked by the beginning of May.

Stagnation:
-Although on some level I enjoy my work, I feel restless about it because it does not employ all of my talents nor does it satisfy my breadth of interests. Law school is a good choice.

-My last year was a romantic rollercoaster.

-I'm remarkably persistent. That is, I'm able to hit a wall, brush myself off, and continue on. Problem is that I often continue into the same wall. My environment does not appreciate my talents and this is easily recognized by "thank you's" or lacking thereof. I must change my environment to become appreciated and move beyond the stagnation that I've experienced for two years.

-The source of imbalance? Point #2, my sex chakra. It is where our basic energy resides according to Vedi beliefs. Therefore, other points may be aligned, but since my foundation is unstable, I'm misaligned.

It's this revelation which resonated the most. I've been aware...searching...for a way to understand the mismatched energies and resulting choices from my past year's romantic challenges. Yet I never felt I appropriately eqiupped. A chakra reading will put me on the right path to identify my most significant source of vexation. I intend to do this soon.

I hope that this entry serves a reminder that energy-work can be deeply important and profoundly real, although, I realize that many of us have fun with Tarot, too. At the same time, we all "know" in different ways, and this is one way I uncover knowledge for myself. Spiritual guides help validate or re-direct my own initution in a similar way others use religious text or advisors to map their destiny. I've been reassured today with a geniune-feeling reading consistent with information I've learned from past readings. I'm also happy that T entered the energy-world as well.

Perhaps most significantly, I was able to share this insight with my mom tonight. I felt the conversation very moving. She's the person I credit all of my spiritual growth, since she was the only person I knew growing up who demonstrated trust in intution, universal connectedness and energy's existence. She inspired me to "seek" through the universe. I was happy to tell her as much. In the coming years, I'll try to convey to her that it is this value which is so integral to who I am and who I will eventually become.

See ya,
R.