Crying Light - Living In Between

"Let I
Shy cry
Under the light
Let I
Cry sight
A child at night
I can
Have courage
To receive your love
I can
Step steps
Follow my blind
Inside
My self
The secret grows
My own
Shelter
Agony goes
I was born to adore you
As a baby in the blind
I was born to represent you
To carry your head into the sun
To carve you face into the back of the sun" - The Crying Light, Antony and the Johnsons

To explain this feeling of living in-between, let me return to an August post. In August, a dear friend invited me to The Church of Two Worlds, a spiritualism church in Washington DC. Spiritualism is a Christian school that believes in mediumship to connect with other spiritual beings and God. My father was raised as a Christian Science, which is distinct from spiritualism, but it falls within a tradition that teaches God's omnipresence. Many of his beliefs have passed onto me. In the August post about receiving the dharma that you need (i.e. you will always be taken care of if you are willing to receive) I described the latter half of the service in which the minister conveyed messages from spirits onto audience members. It was quite the experience. I had two messages conveyed to me--both powerful--but there is a particular one with meaning that I did not fully appreciate until now. The medium said, "Your ancestors are rooting for you. Don't give up. There's light ahead."

A couple of weeks later I joined a friend in a regular Saturday morning sitting meditation. Only two of us practiced that morning so we had a chance to deeply share our sit with each other when we finished. We got onto the topic of a book that she had read, called Many Lives, Many Masters, a several-decade old book written by a psycho analyst's past-life regression experience with a patient. I believe that reincarnation is the continuation of life and life-force energy, and I have my an understanding of previous lives of my own. I borrowed the book, reading it in a single day. I was simply blown away. For at least two reasons. On one hand, I was beginning to see how spiritualism, phenomenonalism, magic, and other systems of thought to which I think glean universal insight blend together. On the other hand, the book thrust me into a condition which Buddhists call "absolute truth," or a spiritual existence, apart from our day-to-day existence. This is far from any degree of enlightenment. It's more like a SuperAwareness where you feel more adept in surveying deeper truths while also being present-minded. I have felt more detached over the past several weeks for this reason.

Many Lives described seven spiritual realms in which we ascend as we re-discover our true nature as One Spirit. I thought that the number of seven realms was intriguing because seven is a celebrated number in numerology and other traditions. So, as I've contemplated, and lived through, my practice during September, I have thought less about "right," "wrong," "good," "bad," but instead I have asked: what will contribute toward spiritual development? What is the spiritual (not worldly) lesson here? This re-orientation, different way of thinking, is making a lot of sense to me at the moment.

I continue to work with my energy-worker who observes my brighter aura all of the time (which reaffirms my belief that I am on the correct path). I have since started another book about Atlantis which is re-introducing me to occultism, a broader school than spiritualism that recovers "hidden knowledge" through psychic-ism, shamanism, mediumship, meditation, etc. I believe, like many occultists do, that we all have these gifts of being as we discover more about our true capacities. This is, in part, why I value reiki so much, and why I believe that it came into my life when it did. I'm reminded that it is all here.

I am thinking more about mysticism, herbal medicine, and all of the "alternatives" to conventional Western well-being. Tomorrow I will attend Pathway's Natural Living Expo with another dear friend who has accessed chakra-cleansing. There is a lot to learn in a single lifetime!

I will say, for friends and readers, who are skeptical that there are different ways to understand what this all is. I could not accept reincarnation until very specific details about a past life were conveyed to me during my first year of college were recited to me, almost verbatim, in April 2008. I could not explain it otherwise. Since, I've had many more experiences, but these ideas have also resurfaced more subtly. In holistic organizing, for example, we call, and thank our ancestors for their guidance, before we embark on our work. I often do this in spaces dominated by Black-folks or Southern-folks. For many of us the "presence" of spirits supplies our strength and courage. This is also true in numerous other traditions and spaces. All I can offer is that an openness may expose you to a lot of things, but never, nothing more than you can handle.

Receiving our own crying light.


*http://www.pathwaysmagazineonline.com/Pathways%20Online/expomainpage.html