(He)art of Healing

"The Buddha mentioned a few of these more satisfying forms of happiness. One is the happy, secure feeling you get from possessing wealth earned through honest, hard work...Another especially gratifying form of happiness comes from reflecting that one is completely free of debt to anyone. (A II (Fours) VII:2)

Most of us, even the most discerning, view these things as the essence of a good life. Why did the Buddha consider them part of the lowest form of happiness? Because they depend on conditions being right. Though less fleeting than the transient pleasures of sensual indulgence, and less potentially destructive to long-term happiness, they are unstable. The more we trust them, seek them, and try to hang on to them, the more we suffer."

I read this passage from Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness: Walking the Buddha's Path by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana this week, a little over a week after I wrote the previous entry, "As I Lie." The poem may appear to be about change, however, as I wrote it, another type of feeling led my hand, although I was unable to identify it at the time.

This passage arrived at an ideal moment so I may connect the poem's story to feelings I held for a couple months. I realized that I depend on favorable conditions to inspire joy. Most of the time I am content--my neutral disposition is positive--interestingly, though, my contentness is highly dependent on "how things are." Over the years, it has grown stronger, as to be less delicate to the whims that grasp our everyday lives. I can usually maintain my contentness through a bad day or even a few bad weeks. On the other hand, it is weaker under significant pressure, usually displacing me into "a funk" or "a strange mood." This strange mood, I realize, is unhappiness. It is more like dissatisfaction. An irritant that life has not gone as planned or is bringing upon me bad luck. "As I Life" contained several double meanings but unbeknownst to myself at the time, I was revealing to myself my "happiness-lie." Beyond this, I was saying, I know that there is a deeper--truer--happiness that is near that I am yet to locate within myself. Perhaps the poem was a signal to keep digging. As I am learning to turn my upside-view of change to full, proper view, I can see true happiness as well.

These remaining lessons of Right Understanding have led me to a "healing commitment." Bhante Henepola Gunaratana says that enlightenment is the highest source of happiness, which we reach once we let go of the "lower forms of happiness," while at the same time assuring us that the Buddha suggested that we "maximize" happiness at whichever form. I am finally ready to let go of my happiness on favorable conditions. This form of happiness, above any other kind, has caused me the most difficulty (in my life) especially in romantic love. I envision my path away from favorable-condition happiness to be the way of healing.

Negative energy--not change--has haunted me. Buddhism and psychic healing have clarified the wisdom of karma. The negative energy within my aura or "psychic imprints" which I carry is like energy scars caused by my own actions as well as others. Remarkably, we carry these scars for long periods of time, even across lifetimes. In this lifetime, I have committed to a good-life by holding the intention to create and transform energy into good-karma, guided by Buddhist and other wise teachings. I also have traumatic psychic scarring from past lives that need healing. To do this, I have come across the gift of Reiki.

Many of my friends have witnessed my excitement these couple weeks over Reiki. My best explanation is that reiki also appeared in my life at the right time, connecting aspects of my worldview, and providing opportunities for me to share my deepest intentions with others. I am not prepared to say much at this time other than reiki is a Japanese healing art meaning "universal life force." Reiki practitioners are attuned to a benevolent energy vibration through which the energy flows into a recipient by touch. The practice itself is astoundingly simple: a "facilitator" holds his or her hands onto a part of the body letting the energy flow. The effect is that the universal energy channeled from the 8th chakra through a recipient's 7th chakra restores the recipient's natural energy balance. I have shared with friends that this practice is spiritually and aesthetically beautiful. Just marvelous. I am honored to have practiced on four people, including myself, and each time, I see the awe-like nature of energy and essentially, nature itself.

It was also important for me to write down the positive effects reiki has had beyond my psychic healing. (Also, as I have written before, I have received psychic healing through another person, which is distinct from reiki, although equally remarkable, because a healer works directly with a person's energy rather than serving as a facilitator.)

Positive Reiki Effects:
1. Reiki embodies healing touch as well as a healing outlook. The Gassho prayer accompanies the energy-practice, emphasizing five compassionate principles. The Gassho prayer, particularly its line, "don't worry," has calmed my nerves. I am a worrier. Often, I cannot distinguish worry from my thoughts, so I have felt lighter by not worrying as much, if at all.

2. "Touch" on myself has re-united me with my physical self. I feel more aligned with my body when I am physically active, which means most often, I feel detached from it. Holding and touching myself is healing in this way. I have realized the strength and elegance of my own hands--a quality that I have not noticed before. Similarly, I am more inclined to touch other people who I can tell are like me. Offering even an ordinary touch is a significant dana-gesture.

3. Reiki has de-mystified energy to me. As a long-believer of energy, my belief was based on a lot of faith and a few encounters. Today, I literally feel energy all of the time. In fact, energy is usually escaping my left foot (in a prickly-sensation) even when I am not practicing reiki. Since beginning reiki, I am also having vivid dreams which I remember (related to my 7th chakra opening). The more energy manifests the better my understanding of it.

4. Finally, reiki has brought intimacy back into my life. Because I am less fearful of touch, and I am opening my heart as a facilitator (sometimes, facilitator-recipient) I feel closer to people, especially loved ones. I have reigned in my intimacy because it was usually the source of unhappiness. (I have remained single and celibate for almost two years.) I can trust myself with intimacy nowadays and that is very nice.

I close with a metta-intention: May you find healing in whichever positive form. May you find true happiness toward liberation. May you realize love to nurture you along your path.