A Simple Kind of Life

The original title for this post was "Community Growth." I intended to write about two very special encounters from the past week.

The first involved a Twin Oaks community garden visit with my housemate and gardening-extraordinaire, Mia. Over the last years she has reserved a plot, which this year she has generously offered to be our house-plot. We arrived upon the garden after a leisurely one-mile walk from Columbia Heights--her hands sticky from a street-bought mango and mine from vegan soft-serve. Our sole task was to water the plot and as expected, simple tasks are never so.

In total we spent a very pleasant two hours at the garden with our new little friends. Mia and I had run into two young people with their mother whom her supervisors taught in a gardening class. Christian and I became quick friends, most likely because he stubbornly tried to ride Mia's bike, even though his seven year old legs were not long enough to cycle. Most of our two-hour visit consisted of me steadying him, and eventually, pushing him on the bike along the garden; fetching water from across the street and losing the hose fight (in which I never had a hose...); and finishing our time together with a piggy-back ride. Curiously, he claimed never to have had one before so I was pleased to virtually slop around the garden with a small person attached to me.

As much fun as I had with both Mia and Christian, I made another observation. In our final minutes, harvesting our plot's kale and turnips, I felt an enduring peace. Gardening is remarkable relationship, no doubt, but most of all, I was awed by the gardeners. During our visit I saw a rare image in my life: an African woman in traditional clothing with her little woman, a Latino woman with her two little ones (including Christian), and a professionally dressed white woman, each sharing and using the same space. I thought to myself, "I've seen my Beloved Community."

Yesterday I was walking through Adams Morgan to Mount Pleasant from work. In "professional" clothes, I am so uncomfortable that I usually prefer to get out of them as soon as possible, but I found myself on foot toward home once I was passed by two completely packed buses. After all, it was my mind, not my feet, which is out of sorts in a collared shirt and fitting pants. Along the way, at 18th Street, I met Ed Ross.

Ed was selling Street Sense, DC's only homeless/poor person's paper, which I told him, "I never miss." I rarely carry cash but somehow I always have a single dollar when I come across a Street Sense vendor. Ed and I talked for about a half-hour. I learned a great deal about him, including his early years, life in the military, and these days, just an all-around active and good guy. He had one amazing story about his invitation to the White House by former President George Bush himself. The President learned about an experimental program Ed founded called the "Homeless Challenge" that allowed well-off college students to become homeless for a few days in DC. The President called Mayor Fenty, Mayor Fenty called Street Sense, Street Sense called Ed. Most exceptional about Ed was that he turned the invitation to the White House down. Better yet, he essentially put former President Bush in his place by way of honesty. After reminding the President of government's eventual response to Hurricane Katrina he asked why the President was unable to house the thousands of homeless or displaced DC-residents in his own backyard. Promptly a President's aide got on the line reporting that the President had an "emergency" leading to his abrupt departure--Ed said, "Yes. He had an emergency--from the fire that I lit beneath his ass." Mind you, Ed was a very polite fellow, but he also possessed a talent for telling something by its true name. There, I knew that I had found a kindred spirit!

I hope to run into Ed in the future. He spends most of his weekends helping children, selling Street Sense, and offering his company to two older women who love spending time. If you are in Adams Morgan, DC, during the weekends, look for a "Street Sense" vest along 18th & Columbia Rd. You may see a jovial guy named Ed Ross.

I began my full schedule this week (minus the holiday) as a 20 hour a week-legal researcher, and 24-hour a week-legal NGO intern, and 4-hour a week-externship student. I dress-up three days a week; claim my very own cubicle for one job; and ride the elevator to the 12th floor for the other. I am a bona-fide "suit." Yet, I discovered just how challenging it was to practice the dharma under such demands. After four days full of a general routine, and commuting, and reading reports, and reading statutes, and meetings, I humbly confess that enlightenment seems much farther away. Not to mention one's life outside of work, like weight-lifting, phone-calling, and reading (I began and finished "The Morality of Beautiful Girls" by Alexander McCall Smith, the third or fourth book in the No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series).

I reflected on the week with my sangha-friend, Gretchen, over the phone. I have recently committed to join the "Buddhist-teacher track," with which I was sharing to Gretchen. We observed that every Buddhist teacher we know are either self-employed as full-time healers/meditation teachers or enjoy flexible work-lives as professors. We concluded, without intending to diminish these jobs, that sanghas would benefit from teachers with more diverse professional backgrounds (among other ways). Lawyers, organizers, laborers, salespeople, accountants, cooks, and others must become teachers because these are the conditions under which we practice.

"Teachers" must reflect the community of which we are a part in the Beloved Community. We all live simple lives in a richly-complicated world. Lives that entail relationships, trust, and change. I ask myself, "What will I harvest today?"

(He)art of Healing

"The Buddha mentioned a few of these more satisfying forms of happiness. One is the happy, secure feeling you get from possessing wealth earned through honest, hard work...Another especially gratifying form of happiness comes from reflecting that one is completely free of debt to anyone. (A II (Fours) VII:2)

Most of us, even the most discerning, view these things as the essence of a good life. Why did the Buddha consider them part of the lowest form of happiness? Because they depend on conditions being right. Though less fleeting than the transient pleasures of sensual indulgence, and less potentially destructive to long-term happiness, they are unstable. The more we trust them, seek them, and try to hang on to them, the more we suffer."

I read this passage from Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness: Walking the Buddha's Path by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana this week, a little over a week after I wrote the previous entry, "As I Lie." The poem may appear to be about change, however, as I wrote it, another type of feeling led my hand, although I was unable to identify it at the time.

This passage arrived at an ideal moment so I may connect the poem's story to feelings I held for a couple months. I realized that I depend on favorable conditions to inspire joy. Most of the time I am content--my neutral disposition is positive--interestingly, though, my contentness is highly dependent on "how things are." Over the years, it has grown stronger, as to be less delicate to the whims that grasp our everyday lives. I can usually maintain my contentness through a bad day or even a few bad weeks. On the other hand, it is weaker under significant pressure, usually displacing me into "a funk" or "a strange mood." This strange mood, I realize, is unhappiness. It is more like dissatisfaction. An irritant that life has not gone as planned or is bringing upon me bad luck. "As I Life" contained several double meanings but unbeknownst to myself at the time, I was revealing to myself my "happiness-lie." Beyond this, I was saying, I know that there is a deeper--truer--happiness that is near that I am yet to locate within myself. Perhaps the poem was a signal to keep digging. As I am learning to turn my upside-view of change to full, proper view, I can see true happiness as well.

These remaining lessons of Right Understanding have led me to a "healing commitment." Bhante Henepola Gunaratana says that enlightenment is the highest source of happiness, which we reach once we let go of the "lower forms of happiness," while at the same time assuring us that the Buddha suggested that we "maximize" happiness at whichever form. I am finally ready to let go of my happiness on favorable conditions. This form of happiness, above any other kind, has caused me the most difficulty (in my life) especially in romantic love. I envision my path away from favorable-condition happiness to be the way of healing.

Negative energy--not change--has haunted me. Buddhism and psychic healing have clarified the wisdom of karma. The negative energy within my aura or "psychic imprints" which I carry is like energy scars caused by my own actions as well as others. Remarkably, we carry these scars for long periods of time, even across lifetimes. In this lifetime, I have committed to a good-life by holding the intention to create and transform energy into good-karma, guided by Buddhist and other wise teachings. I also have traumatic psychic scarring from past lives that need healing. To do this, I have come across the gift of Reiki.

Many of my friends have witnessed my excitement these couple weeks over Reiki. My best explanation is that reiki also appeared in my life at the right time, connecting aspects of my worldview, and providing opportunities for me to share my deepest intentions with others. I am not prepared to say much at this time other than reiki is a Japanese healing art meaning "universal life force." Reiki practitioners are attuned to a benevolent energy vibration through which the energy flows into a recipient by touch. The practice itself is astoundingly simple: a "facilitator" holds his or her hands onto a part of the body letting the energy flow. The effect is that the universal energy channeled from the 8th chakra through a recipient's 7th chakra restores the recipient's natural energy balance. I have shared with friends that this practice is spiritually and aesthetically beautiful. Just marvelous. I am honored to have practiced on four people, including myself, and each time, I see the awe-like nature of energy and essentially, nature itself.

It was also important for me to write down the positive effects reiki has had beyond my psychic healing. (Also, as I have written before, I have received psychic healing through another person, which is distinct from reiki, although equally remarkable, because a healer works directly with a person's energy rather than serving as a facilitator.)

Positive Reiki Effects:
1. Reiki embodies healing touch as well as a healing outlook. The Gassho prayer accompanies the energy-practice, emphasizing five compassionate principles. The Gassho prayer, particularly its line, "don't worry," has calmed my nerves. I am a worrier. Often, I cannot distinguish worry from my thoughts, so I have felt lighter by not worrying as much, if at all.

2. "Touch" on myself has re-united me with my physical self. I feel more aligned with my body when I am physically active, which means most often, I feel detached from it. Holding and touching myself is healing in this way. I have realized the strength and elegance of my own hands--a quality that I have not noticed before. Similarly, I am more inclined to touch other people who I can tell are like me. Offering even an ordinary touch is a significant dana-gesture.

3. Reiki has de-mystified energy to me. As a long-believer of energy, my belief was based on a lot of faith and a few encounters. Today, I literally feel energy all of the time. In fact, energy is usually escaping my left foot (in a prickly-sensation) even when I am not practicing reiki. Since beginning reiki, I am also having vivid dreams which I remember (related to my 7th chakra opening). The more energy manifests the better my understanding of it.

4. Finally, reiki has brought intimacy back into my life. Because I am less fearful of touch, and I am opening my heart as a facilitator (sometimes, facilitator-recipient) I feel closer to people, especially loved ones. I have reigned in my intimacy because it was usually the source of unhappiness. (I have remained single and celibate for almost two years.) I can trust myself with intimacy nowadays and that is very nice.

I close with a metta-intention: May you find healing in whichever positive form. May you find true happiness toward liberation. May you realize love to nurture you along your path.

As I Lie

When I woke up last month,
I felt low, so,
I returned to sleep,
With hope that the next day,
I should find myself.

When I woke up last week,
I noticed that,
I left my confidence behind,
As I faced a long day ahead,
I remind myself to bring it with me,
Tomorrow.

When I awoke this morning,
I was less certain,
Today would be better than last month,
Or last week, so,
I simply smiled as I arose,
This time,
Not wishing for anything to change.