Gendered Me

From Rita Mae Brown, originally printed in The Lesbian Tide, 1973, and re-printed in Self Made Men by Henry Rubin (Thanks, T.):

CHAIR: The general meeting of the Radical Revolutionary Anti-racist, Anti-capitalist, Anti-imperialist, Anti-discrimination, Anti-smog [it was L.A.] Lesbian Feminists will come to order. 'Today's meeting is devoted to] a discussion of the topic: How do we reach the masses?...The chair recognizes Susan Savedwoman.

SUSAN SAVEDWOMAN: The name of our group. It turns a lot of new people off, and most don't even come at all. For example, a lot of bar people don't like the word, "Lesbian." They prefer the word "gay." I propose we make a change.

CHAIR: That's a very good idea...[after much democractic posturing] The name of our group has been changed to the Radical Revolutionary, Anti-racist, Anti-imperialist Gay Feminists.

NANCY NOTTASLAVE: Yes. I think our problem is that we ignore new people who come to this meeting...I see two new women sitting over in the corner who haven't said anything at all...I'd like to ehar from them: why they're here and what they'd like to see this group do.

NEW PERSON: My name's Nicki and my old lady, Suzie, and I thought we'd come and see if you guys can help us out. I got fired yesterday from my job as a foreman at a factory because they found out I'm gay, and I want to know what I can do to fight it.

FRANCES FREEDOM: You do have a problem, but more than you think. First off, calling your lover, "old lady" is very sexist and monogamous. Secondly, we are not "guys" we are women. And thirdly, you couldn't have been a foreMAN because your'e a woman. Now what were you saying?

NICKI: What? Oh...I was saying I want someone to help me get my job back...Look, I need a job to pay the rent NOW. If you don't want to help, we're splitting now.

FRANCES FREEDOM: Suzie--wait! Don't leave with Nicki. Don't you realize she oppresses you?

CHAIR: Order please! Let them leave. They obviously have no consciousness. Now who has some other ideas on how we can reach out to the masses?

I read this passage and nearly choked laughing. So familiar!

Today, I incidentally read about the "lesbian menace" debate within the women's "lib" movement. It's a little amusing to think that their daughters may not even understand its context. We're in a multi-gender, pansexual, globally-political generation, after all.

I began an essay that I didn't manage to finish called "Gendered Me." Mostly for my own edification, I was trying to uncover my own gender identity based on my gender expression. I realized how much of my personal lens is un-gendered and in contrast, how gendered others see me. Shopping for clothing is a good example. I aimlessly wander from male to female sections; folks stare--they always do. Or, occasionally, I'm called "sir" by an employee when wearing casual athletic wear. (I'm admittedly thrown off by this because my face is so traditionally feminine.) Forty years later, we appreciate that it's even more complicated than we initially thought...

I'm still uncertain how a multi-gender person relates in this world. Whereas "woman identified" may have been an adequate descriptor during the 70's, I gotta say, it doesn't satisfy now. I like peace, Mother Earth, violins, dancing, politics, sports, progressive bluegrass, and stand-up comedy. I spend an inordinate amount of time weight-lifting and sometimes, waxing. One friend calls me "un-feminine" and another "proto-gay" (short for proto-gay man).

Degrees better than "soft butch." Whatever that means ;)

So what's your gender today?
R.